Imagine you wanted to enhance your wellbeing or get super fit, what would you do? Perhaps go to a gym, hire an expert personal trainer, watch videos, or ask advice from friends. You wouldn’t imagine that it would happen overnight. You know that it’s an ongoing practice.

So why is it that so many folks expect spectacular sex when they do little to cultivate their capacity for pleasure?

The belief that “sex is just natural” is a great limitation. It is true as far as being driven by the biological impulse. But let’s face it, most people do not engage in sexual acts for the purpose of procreation. You might be having solo sex, your genital match might not be baby-making, or you may be engaging in erotic experience for a whole host of motivations, such as connection and intimacy.

Sex IS natural and pleasure is available to every human being.

Sex IS natural and pleasure is available to every human being. Yet in a curious paradox, when you practice pleasure, more pleasure spontaneously arises. Form supports flow.

You can exercise for ecstasy.

Currently I am on a writing course with the wonderful Eva Weaver. As we journey week by week, I am struck by the parallels between the creative writing process and erotic experience.

Popular culture suggests that inspiration just comes out of nowhere, and creative expression simply flows spontaneously. However, as budding writers we are encouraged to devote ourselves to our craft – making time and space for the discipline of writing. Sometimes it feels like there’s no time in the day, sometimes it’s boring, sometimes it’s downright frustrating. And yet I keep turning up. Tending to my writer self.

How could you tend to your lover self?

Practising pleasure doesn’t tend to look like what most people imagine when they hear the word “sex”. No partner is required. Even if you have a lover or partner, it is valuable to develop your own erotic aliveness so that you have something to share with them.

Many folks are walking around in a state of chronic tension - physical and mental - without even realising it. Given the state of the world right now, that’s really understandable. There’s nothing wrong with you if you are feeling overwhelmed and overwrought. It takes a lot more to stay in our centre these days. More than ever, we need to cultivate practices of pleasure.

The Rishi Isometrics are an ancient practice for cultivating awareness of the subtle energy body, based on a principle of tension and release. As well as having wonderful physical health benefits, the Rishis also prepare the body for meditation practice.

Check out my guided practice of these five simple exercises on Soundcloud.

The central practice in the Rishis is to create tension in the body then release. It’s not supposed to be easy. Take yourself to the edge of your capacity. Then relax into the fullness of your being.

Whilst it might sound strange to deliberately create stress in the body, when we do this consciously, it can become easier to perceive relaxation. You don’t know what you’re holding onto until you let it go.

Why not try it right now… here in this moment.

Take a deep full breath in. As you breath in, create a tension in your body by squeezing as many muscles as you can… scrunch up your face, squeeze your fists, clench your buttocks and tense your toes. Hold the breath and hold the tension. When you feel like you’re about to explode, release the breath and release the tension. Notice how you feel… track the sensations in your body… tingling, stillness, warmth, cool, whatever is arising for you… notice it. (If you don’t feel anything the first time, give it another go. It can take a few tries to feel it.)

You can do the exercises with my spoken guidance on Soundcloud here.

I’ve shared this practice with many of my private clients and they love how simple yet powerful these five exercises can be. It only takes fifteen minutes to do the whole sequence. It might just boost your energy for life - and your lover. Enjoy!

NOTE: Acknowledging and honouring Ipsalu Tantra from where I first learned this practice.